" I can do this, I will make it through..."
I kept telling myself the same thing over and over as each miserable day pass.
" What anIDIOT..." as I talk to myself thinking of how pathetic my life could be at this point.
Of course there were a few good times in the day, like how reading made my mood better and music cheering me up.
But when I stop, the misery comes back. I wasn't who I was before.
At the beginning, I'd thought this wasn't going to be hard at all.
As I said, that's what I thought.
Life being away from someone you love could be like your personal hell, but I was okay with it.
Well, that was before he got so caught up with things and we sort of stopped talking so much.
Somehow I unintentionally fell in love with a fictional character. That's where pathetic came into my life.
In a way, it felt rather comforting, imagining there was such person out there in this world, just watching carefully of my every move.
And there came IDIOT.
But slowly I realized I was afraid to love.
I was envious of the female character in the book.
How she was cared, loved. It was forever for them.
Every day, as I look at my phone, quietly waiting for your text.
Hours and hours pass by, nothing.
I slowly grown immune to the fact that keeping my false hope up for his reply was hurting me more.
I didn't want to do this anymore, but GUILT my loyal companion who never leaves me has to be an ass for it.
Nights passed, I tried to hold back my tears.
Avoiding any argument with my parents or my sisters.
No one seemed to understand.
I wanted to curl into a ball and hide somewhere where nobody could find me.
At least that'd save him all the regrets to see me hurt.
There's a million of things running through my mind every day, it actually feels nice to have a crowded mind, it helps ease the pain in me.
Fighting a battle against myself was the hardest thing to do.
Am I being naive?
Right, Wrong, what difference does it make now?
"I love you, forever." I wish I could say the same,too if it hadn't hurt.
FOREVER is an impossible promise.
Save it for someone who buys it.

The End.